Do you know that feeling of finding yourself at a crossroads? You are faced with a dilemma and need to make an important decision. This could be at work, could be in a private situation. You want to ‘get on with it’. Do you recognise a need to take that decision rather too quickly? I am pretty sure you do. We all go through the motions sometimes.
Context is crucial. It influences our decision making. Context keeps on changing, nothing is ever set ‘in stone’. You could argue your decision is, therefore, ‘never set in stone’. I guess that is why Heraclitus said ‘the only constant is change’. There are various methods we can use when we want to explore our context. Current societal ones, often influenced by the media; and older ones, based on centuries-old wisdom. Both can play an enriching role and be very informative.
When you explore – analyse – your options, do you take enough time for that? Often we determine our actions by ‘the urgent rather than the important’: the ‘short term rules the long term’. Taking time to ‘stand still’ can actually deliver time. Those of you who meditate will recognise this. I do this through a distinct ritual of reflection, every morning. Additionally, I often do some yoga exercises or I dance. This works well: it feeds my body, so I can be more grounded when I am faced with the need to make an important decision.
When you explore, various scenarios will present themselves. In what way do you assess those? For me – a lifelong communications fanatic – stories have qualities which we should explore. Stories that surround us, stories we tell, the ones we create and those we share with others. Fiction and nonfiction. Scientific and opinion pieces. Media, social media and books.
Consulting others can be very insightful. I feel the need to share with others. I know it will ultimately unleash my ultimate wisdom. I reflect on values, to sustain what is really important. Within team situations it is so important to share and debate the different decisions. I remember many occasions of team meetings during which only few voices were really heard, which meant we did not really tap into the wisdom of the team. Again, this takes time, but that is the kind of time that will be gained again. It will allow for smoother implementation and better results.
Do you consider the path that led to the crossroads? The recent past, the longer past. Through my training in systemic coaching (‘constellations’), I have come to learn how much of our past still plays a role today. Some scientists argue that effects of trauma may echo down several generations, influencing our DNA. Imagine! Acknowledging it, working with it, can be very liberating, meaningful and enabling. Also in organisational context.
How do you consult yourself? You have come to your decision: your propositioning is clear. How does it feel when you say it out loud? Have you found yourself in a situation where you are quite clear what route to take, but when you say it out loud you feel a discrepancy inside of you? A little nagging voice telling you something else and your head telling that little voice to ‘hush’? Nothing wrong with the head performing its task, just like there is nothing wrong with your gut informing you.
On a number of occasions I wish that I had taken more time when I found myself at crossroads, and wish I had performed the dynamic play between head, heart and gut. Twice in my life, when I had the opportunity to go for a next job, my gut told me not to take that job, but my head won the argument. Both jobs were not a success.
Many of us are led by the head, not the gut. Quite understandable. In this part of the (Western) world we are trained to make decisions based on cognition. The head rules, mostly. I have found it very liberating to acknowledge the ‘dance between head, heart and gut’. There is wisdom in our whole body, why not use it? Let’s dance! Dance between head, heart and gut. Only then will the truly wise decisions come to the fore.
I use different techniques to guide such exploration. Our whole journey of decision making could be an iterative process, to reap ultimate wisdom. That is why my The Butterfly Effect logo is also the eternity symbol. Its process is the continuous process of contextualisation, exploration and propositioning: with every wave touching the middle, our core:
Contextualisation
Propositioning
Exploration
If you would like to go through such a process, alone or with your team, online or (within the contemporary 1,5m guidelines) on the ground, then please click this and your email to me will be generated. The first half an hour of consultation is my gift to you. After (during) that you, and/or your team, determine whether you want to go through a more profound process.
I look forward to hearing from you,
